This is a very apt statement of what I need and I think many other abused/neglected and non abused/neglected people have the same needs. However I am doubtful that abused/neglected folks know how to do that. I shall try to switch my mindset. I have already stopped beating myself up mostly. I feel it might just be more covert now but maybe just working on sniffing out the bad stuff and stop doing that is already a plan for now.